Although going through a divorce can be an extremely hard time for every member of your family, it’s common for your kids to take the news the hardest, and to require the most time to fully understand the reality of what is going on. Even though there isn’t much that you may be able to do to make things seem totally “normal” during a divorce, there are still things you can do when explaining the situation to your children to make the whole process seem less traumatic and difficult. Since every child is different, and so is every family, there isn’t exactly a “right way” to talk to your children regarding your divorce. However, there are certain things to keep in mind when going through this separation. If you’re looking for “estate lawyers near me” in the Miami area, call Arturo R. Alfonso, P.A. for an initial consultation today!
Walking Your Kids Through A Separation
The dissolution of a marriage can be especially difficult on your children. Below we discuss some ways to make the transition as easy as possible for your kids during this trying period:
- Keep it simple and factual- No matter if your child is a toddler or in high school, you need to communicate in a simple and straightforward manner. Your kids shouldn’t be dragged through the mud when it comes to all of the details of your divorce. Keep it relevant and answer their questions honestly, but on a need-to-know basis. Don’t try and tell them everything about why you’re getting divorced and how your marriage deteriorated over time, as children already can feel like they played a role in the splitting up of their parents, when really this is all between you and your spouse. It is particularly crucial to make sure that you are not placing blame on the other parent or criticizing them. Even if you don’t intend to do so, ranting about your divorce to your child can make them feel the need to choose sides. Your children are also your ex’s children, and by making them feel like something is wrong with their other parent, your children can internalize a lot of feelings and think something is wrong with them.
- Be unified- Try your best to have any family discussions about your divorce with your ex-spouse physically present. Presenting a unified front to your children will show them that although things are changing, you are both still there for them as parents and can still make and follow through on decisions together. It’s crucial to act and present themselves like capable, responsible adults to let your children know their reality hasn’t been turned upside down. Let them know nothing regarding your feelings about them have changed.
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- Encourage your children to share their feelings- Your children will have a lot of questions and emotions, and allowing them to share and process their feelings is key. Be supportive and let them know how you’re going to get through this together. This also includes checking in with your children periodically to see how they’re doing and asking if they have any questions. Our counselors suggest that you include them in planning their new situation (such as a move or partner) so that they feel like they have some say in their lives.
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There are certain things to keep in mind when handling your separation with your children. If you’re looking for “estate lawyers near me,” call Arturo R. Alfonso, P.A. at our Miami headquarters today!