Divorce is hard on the whole family, particularly around the holidays. Children especially may have a difficult time when Thanksgiving and Christmas rolls around without both parents together and amicable. While it may be painful the first few years after a divorce, high tensions and depression over lost traditions can be mitigated with some smart co-parenting. Arturo R. Alfonso, P.A. is a divorce lawyer in Miami who has years of experience and has a short list of recommendations for getting through these stressful months.
Create New Traditions
It may be hard to heal with lingering memories of happier times with the family, but there’s no reason why new traditions can’t be forged and enjoyed for years to come. Try learning a new cookie recipe, or a new cuisine that you can make for the household. You can also designate a movie or show that you and your child watches on a given day. Getting away from Miami for the weekend with a camping trip or other vacation is another way to create memories and alternative traditions.
Don’t Pretend Like Things Are The Same
Your children know as well as you do that things aren’t the same anymore and never will be. Pretending like they are creates palpable tension and may trigger your child to misbehave. Talk to your children and acknowledge their hurt feelings. Explain to them that you understand change is hard and together you’ll get through it. If possible, remain civil with your divorced spouse and communicate with them any issues that are bubbling to the surface. A united front between parents is ideal even after a divorce.
Don’t Overcompensate With Gifts
Many parents try to buy their kids’ love by showering them with Christmas presents, perhaps even trying to compete with the other spouse with gifts. This only amplifies resentment in the long run not only between parents but also with the child. No amount of money or gift giving will make up for the fact the family is no longer together. Keep that in mind and coordinate your gift plans with the other parent if possible.
Self Care is Important
It will be almost impossible to attend to the feelings of your children about divorce if you’re not emotionally or mentally okay. Take care of yourself by setting aside personal time, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. If you’re having trouble meditating, you can always enlist the help of a divorce lawyer or other third party.
Co-parenting is hard at any time of year and the holidays are no different. Try these above steps to navigate Thanksgiving and Christmas post-divorce with less stress and tension between you and your children. If you need a divorce lawyer in Miami, look no further than Arturo R. Alfonso, P.A. Since the moment of our establishment we have sought to provide reputable assistance during and after a divorce. Contact us today for more information.